Sunday, September 4, 2011
Update on My Homeless Friends, Mike and Ron
My last blog talked about how my friends, Jan and Danny Miller had sacrificed to Mike and Ron. During the snow storm last winter, the Millers invited the men into their home for a few days until they put them up in a hotel for several months. They got Mike admitted into the VA hospital before his alcoholism nearly killed him. After detoxing while in a coma, Mike still thought he wanted to go back into the woods and be homeless with Ron who had, by this time, returned to his tarp home. The doctors said returning to the woods would kill him but Mike was willing to take that risk rather than feel like a prisoner in rehab.
I ended the blog with the thought that even though it didn’t seem like a happy or successful ending to the story, Jan and Danny had still been obedient to the Lord. By the world’s standards, it may have seemed like the Miller’s were not successful in putting the guys on the road to a better life, but they had been models to many of Christ’s unconditional love and had been obedient no matter what the outcome.
At the end of the bog I said, “But the story is not over yet.” And indeed it wasn’t. I’m happy to report that Mike is now receiving treatment for alcoholism and is even attending church with the Millers. “PTL” as Jan would say!! (or Praise The Lord)
Ron, on the other hand is back to living in the forest behind the Red Robin restaurant—not too far from my house. I see him now and then by a busy intersection with his card board begging sign. I gave him a few bucks recently and hoped he wouldn’t spend it on alcohol or cigarettes, but realistically I know he does use some of his “earnings” to buy those things—his addiction is so strong. My friend, Kathryn, suggested I keep cans of soup with pop tops in my car so I can be sure Ron, or any other homeless person, is eating and not spending the greenbacks on liquor. So in case you see the Campbells rolling around on the floor of my car, you’ll know I’m not just trying to be over prepared in the event of a snack attack.
Just today I saw Ron sitting on the sidewalk next to his bike. What a difference between the different paths each man decided to take—Mike is headed for recovery; Ron is still feeding his addictions.
Please keep Mike and Rick in your prayers. And may the Lord give us wisdom on how we can meet the needs of the poor.
“He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord.” Proverbs 19:17
“There will always be poor in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and the needy in your land.” Deut 15:11
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Road of Obedience Less Traveled
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”—Robert Frost
On a walk through her neighborhood with her beagle, Hashbrown, my dear friend Jan came upon a trail which, she discovered later, was really “the road less travelled.” She could have stayed on the sidewalk and may have never discovered the two homeless men who had taken up a dilapidated residence at the other end of the trail. She also would have never had to experience the frustration, the anxiety, the loss of money….or even the true joy of obedience.
Jan discovered Mike and Ron living under a makeshift tarp which poorly kept their shabby belongings and filthy bodies from the snow and rain. Mike, not even 50, looked like a man in his 60’s and was in ill health from the devastating effects of alcoholism. Ron, 40 something, was scruffy and had a wacky, half shaved hairdo. His “job” was to sign (beg with a cardboard sign) on the street corner so he could buy food, cigarettes and alcohol—mostly alcohol—for the both of them.
The guys seemed harmless enough and Jan’s merciful heart bonded with them. On several occasions, Jan and her daughter-in-law, Kate, would bring soup, a bucket of KFC chicken, homemade cookies, phone cards, and grocery store gift certificates. Jan and her husband, Danny, have already been in the mode of giving. Every month, for the past five years, they have been serving dinner to the homeless at Operation Nightwatch in downtown Seattle. On their designated day, Jan and Danny slave over a humongous hot stove making a hot meal. Her grown kids, my son, Josh, and I show up later to serve and wash dishes. I enjoy these nights and have been dubbed the “dessert girl” as I engage the homeless in conversation while serving up day old scones and donuts. Ministering to two homeless guys in their habitat, was putting Jan and Danny on a whole new level of sacrifice.
Thanksgiving week this past year brought tremendous frigid temperatures, snowfall, and school closures. Jan’s heart grieved for Mike and Ron as she imagined them shivering under their tarp. Her husband, Danny, and her son, Caleb, bundled up to go watch cars slide down the steep road by their house for entertainment. We Washingtonians aren’t used to snow and ice and don’t know how to drive in it! They thought about the “homeless guys”, our loving term for them, so they walked the trail to check on them. After viewing Mike and Ron’s condition, Danny and Caleb brought them home to sleep on a couch for at least one night of warmth. I had Thanksgiving dinner at the Millers and met the two new guests—somewhat polished up and showered.
The night turned into several days and involved spraying the couches with Febreeze, until Jan and Danny decided to put the guys in a hotel. The winter weather was just not letting up. From December to March, the Millers paid for Mike and Ron’s hotel room. Occasionally, friends would offer some financial support. Ron continued to sign. One day, while Ron was signing, a woman gave him an envelope with $1,000 in it and said, “This is from Jesus.” Other times, Ron was lucky to make $4 in a day. The Millers took them for checkups and dental work which Christian doctors benevolently provided. Our friend Terri, worked tirelessly to find birth certificate information so Mike could get admitted to the Veteran’s Hospital. My tiny contribution was a small amount of cash and some homemade chocolate chip cookies. A lot of people were pouring their lives and resources into Ron and Mike—showing them true Christian love. It was obvious that Jesus was reaching out to these men through His people.
On Superbowl Sunday, I went to the Miller’s house for the day’s festivities and spent time with the guys. Mike’s alcoholism had taken a toll on him—his face was an ashen yellow color, his legs were incredibly swollen, and he could hardly walk. Mike was in and out of sleep and didn’t even seem to care that his beloved Steelers were losing. The Miller’s begged to take him to the VA emergency room, but Mike refused believing somehow, that his leg would have to be amputated. A day after his 50th birthday, Mike finally let the Millers take him to the Vet’s Hospital. He was nearly comatose and near death. His liver was shot. For six weeks he remained in a coma with pneumonia and alcohol related problems while many prayed for his life to be spared. Faithfully, Jan and Danny, their grown children, and friend, Terri, visited Mike even though he rarely gave a response.
Meanwhile, while Mike was in the hospital, Ron remained in the hotel room, continued to sign, and attended church with the Millers—sometimes he was even inebriated. Occasionally he would weep at the service and really seemed to want to change. Jan has suggested several free rehab places that Ron doctors could go to dry up and get his life back. He refused to go because he said would feel like he’s “in prison”. Instead he now remains a prisoner of alcohol addiction. The Millers can no longer keep Ron in the motel room and since he has refused to go to rehab, Ron is back to living in the woods.
Praise God, Mike recovered. Even though Mike had actually detoxed during those weeks in a coma, doctors said he would still think he needed to drink because he didn’t have a memory of detoxing. I stopped by the Vet’s Hospital with Jan the other night to visit Mike. He was getting around in a wheel chair and looked remarkably improved. It was the first time I noticed his vibrant blue eyes—the first time they seemed to have life in them. The doctors have emphatically told him that he needs 24 hour care and that he needs to take his medicine faithfully and not drink again or he will die. Mike is being discharged this week. He doesn’t want to go to the free rehab or the convalescent hospital. Instead, he wants to go live in the woods with Ron. It’s what he knows and the alcohol addiction is so strong.
Many people have known about the “homeless guys”. Some have prayed and some have donated. So many people have made sacrifices and given Mike and Ron a golden opportunity to change their deadly lifestyle. They are grateful for what has been given to them, but the lure of alcohol is irresistible to them. Jan and Danny have poured so much of their life and resources out to Mike and Ron these past nine months. I asked Jan last night how she was feeling about all the effort she poured into these men only to have them go back to the same lifestyle. She told me that she was dealing with that the other night and the Lord told her, it wasn’t about the homeless guys changing, it was about her changing!
Every generous thing Jan does seems to involve more and more sacrifice and I am awestruck even more each time. She doesn’t do these things to be “good”, or to work her way to heaven. She simple does it because she loves Jesus and wants to obey him. Every cup of cold water given in His name is as if we have done it unto Him. Besides showing me how to sacrificially pour myself out to the hurting, the homeless, the hungry, Jan has shown me how to be obedient—even when change doesn’t happen.
Our obedience to God is not measured in the success it brings about, but in our willingness to obey regardless of the outcome. Yes, I’ve learned a valuable lesson from my friend, and…..the story of Mike and Ron is not over yet.
“But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” (I John 2:5-6 NIV)
“And this is love, that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” (2 John 1:6 NIV)
“When Jesus heard this, he said to him. “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Luke 18:22 NIV)
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”—Robert Frost
On a walk through her neighborhood with her beagle, Hashbrown, my dear friend Jan came upon a trail which, she discovered later, was really “the road less travelled.” She could have stayed on the sidewalk and may have never discovered the two homeless men who had taken up a dilapidated residence at the other end of the trail. She also would have never had to experience the frustration, the anxiety, the loss of money….or even the true joy of obedience.
Jan discovered Mike and Ron living under a makeshift tarp which poorly kept their shabby belongings and filthy bodies from the snow and rain. Mike, not even 50, looked like a man in his 60’s and was in ill health from the devastating effects of alcoholism. Ron, 40 something, was scruffy and had a wacky, half shaved hairdo. His “job” was to sign (beg with a cardboard sign) on the street corner so he could buy food, cigarettes and alcohol—mostly alcohol—for the both of them.
The guys seemed harmless enough and Jan’s merciful heart bonded with them. On several occasions, Jan and her daughter-in-law, Kate, would bring soup, a bucket of KFC chicken, homemade cookies, phone cards, and grocery store gift certificates. Jan and her husband, Danny, have already been in the mode of giving. Every month, for the past five years, they have been serving dinner to the homeless at Operation Nightwatch in downtown Seattle. On their designated day, Jan and Danny slave over a humongous hot stove making a hot meal. Her grown kids, my son, Josh, and I show up later to serve and wash dishes. I enjoy these nights and have been dubbed the “dessert girl” as I engage the homeless in conversation while serving up day old scones and donuts. Ministering to two homeless guys in their habitat, was putting Jan and Danny on a whole new level of sacrifice.
Thanksgiving week this past year brought tremendous frigid temperatures, snowfall, and school closures. Jan’s heart grieved for Mike and Ron as she imagined them shivering under their tarp. Her husband, Danny, and her son, Caleb, bundled up to go watch cars slide down the steep road by their house for entertainment. We Washingtonians aren’t used to snow and ice and don’t know how to drive in it! They thought about the “homeless guys”, our loving term for them, so they walked the trail to check on them. After viewing Mike and Ron’s condition, Danny and Caleb brought them home to sleep on a couch for at least one night of warmth. I had Thanksgiving dinner at the Millers and met the two new guests—somewhat polished up and showered.
The night turned into several days and involved spraying the couches with Febreeze, until Jan and Danny decided to put the guys in a hotel. The winter weather was just not letting up. From December to March, the Millers paid for Mike and Ron’s hotel room. Occasionally, friends would offer some financial support. Ron continued to sign. One day, while Ron was signing, a woman gave him an envelope with $1,000 in it and said, “This is from Jesus.” Other times, Ron was lucky to make $4 in a day. The Millers took them for checkups and dental work which Christian doctors benevolently provided. Our friend Terri, worked tirelessly to find birth certificate information so Mike could get admitted to the Veteran’s Hospital. My tiny contribution was a small amount of cash and some homemade chocolate chip cookies. A lot of people were pouring their lives and resources into Ron and Mike—showing them true Christian love. It was obvious that Jesus was reaching out to these men through His people.
On Superbowl Sunday, I went to the Miller’s house for the day’s festivities and spent time with the guys. Mike’s alcoholism had taken a toll on him—his face was an ashen yellow color, his legs were incredibly swollen, and he could hardly walk. Mike was in and out of sleep and didn’t even seem to care that his beloved Steelers were losing. The Miller’s begged to take him to the VA emergency room, but Mike refused believing somehow, that his leg would have to be amputated. A day after his 50th birthday, Mike finally let the Millers take him to the Vet’s Hospital. He was nearly comatose and near death. His liver was shot. For six weeks he remained in a coma with pneumonia and alcohol related problems while many prayed for his life to be spared. Faithfully, Jan and Danny, their grown children, and friend, Terri, visited Mike even though he rarely gave a response.
Meanwhile, while Mike was in the hospital, Ron remained in the hotel room, continued to sign, and attended church with the Millers—sometimes he was even inebriated. Occasionally he would weep at the service and really seemed to want to change. Jan has suggested several free rehab places that Ron doctors could go to dry up and get his life back. He refused to go because he said would feel like he’s “in prison”. Instead he now remains a prisoner of alcohol addiction. The Millers can no longer keep Ron in the motel room and since he has refused to go to rehab, Ron is back to living in the woods.
Praise God, Mike recovered. Even though Mike had actually detoxed during those weeks in a coma, doctors said he would still think he needed to drink because he didn’t have a memory of detoxing. I stopped by the Vet’s Hospital with Jan the other night to visit Mike. He was getting around in a wheel chair and looked remarkably improved. It was the first time I noticed his vibrant blue eyes—the first time they seemed to have life in them. The doctors have emphatically told him that he needs 24 hour care and that he needs to take his medicine faithfully and not drink again or he will die. Mike is being discharged this week. He doesn’t want to go to the free rehab or the convalescent hospital. Instead, he wants to go live in the woods with Ron. It’s what he knows and the alcohol addiction is so strong.
Many people have known about the “homeless guys”. Some have prayed and some have donated. So many people have made sacrifices and given Mike and Ron a golden opportunity to change their deadly lifestyle. They are grateful for what has been given to them, but the lure of alcohol is irresistible to them. Jan and Danny have poured so much of their life and resources out to Mike and Ron these past nine months. I asked Jan last night how she was feeling about all the effort she poured into these men only to have them go back to the same lifestyle. She told me that she was dealing with that the other night and the Lord told her, it wasn’t about the homeless guys changing, it was about her changing!
Every generous thing Jan does seems to involve more and more sacrifice and I am awestruck even more each time. She doesn’t do these things to be “good”, or to work her way to heaven. She simple does it because she loves Jesus and wants to obey him. Every cup of cold water given in His name is as if we have done it unto Him. Besides showing me how to sacrificially pour myself out to the hurting, the homeless, the hungry, Jan has shown me how to be obedient—even when change doesn’t happen.
Our obedience to God is not measured in the success it brings about, but in our willingness to obey regardless of the outcome. Yes, I’ve learned a valuable lesson from my friend, and…..the story of Mike and Ron is not over yet.
“But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” (I John 2:5-6 NIV)
“And this is love, that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” (2 John 1:6 NIV)
“When Jesus heard this, he said to him. “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Luke 18:22 NIV)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Bent But Not Broken
August 7, 2010
As I write this blog, it is painful and awkward to type because of my crooked right hand. For the past 20 years I have had an autoimmune disease called Rheumatoid Arthritis. My body thinks something is wrong and is literally attacking my joints. Right after having my third child, my feet started hurting then it spread to my hands, my hips, my shoulders, my knees—until every joint was inflamed and every part of my body felt like it had been crushed. I had been through three labors without medication and knew about pain, but this pain was drastic. I could hardly care for my three little children and my hands hurt so bad I could not even change my newborn’s diaper. Thankfully, I lived with my sister for a few months and she lovingly helped me with my children and took care of me. Every night I cried from the pain and, at age 34, I thought my life was over.
Even though typing is painful for me right now, I am amazed at the journey God has brought me (and my whole family) through and I am so grateful for the improved condition I am now in. Thanks to modern medicine and to God’s miracle working power, I can generally function like a normal person. I am so thankful that I am off disability and able to work fulltime. I am thankful that I can sleep at night; I am thankful I can play with my grandchildren; I am thankful I can be pretty active and exercise some. When I first got sick and could hardly do anything, I would see people mowing their lawns and say, “I wish I could do that.” Since my health has improved, I have successfully knitted three scarves and a hat, and shoveled a foot of snow off my driveway; and now I am able to perform the delicate job of changing my newborn grandson’s diapers! I am even thankful every time I can clean a toilet bowl!
Most people would not even notice I have an illness…………until they look at my right hand. I even forget I’m sick until I look at my right hand, bent to the right at a 45 degree angle with swollen knuckles. It’s not attractive and although I forget about it many times, I also grieve over it other times. I used to be able to type 80 words a minute and now my typing is labored. Being a “righty”, I have trouble grasping things and drop things on occasion. Last summer, I dropped a water bottle on my foot and fractured a couple of bones. And yet, praise God, yesterday I was able to help load backpacks with school supplies at World Vision with no ill effects today!
Another thing I hate about my right hand is I feel embarrassed by its ugliness. I can dye my hair and get my body in shape, but I can’t get rid of the hand. I can keep it under the table and use my left hand to hold a cup, but some people still notice.
Probably the most grievous thing to me is when I lift my hands in worship, I am lifting a crooked hand to the Lord. I don’t think God minds, in fact, He’s probably glad I am worshiping in spite of my hand. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but still, I do not like my hand. I try to think maybe people in church won’t notice, but I do have people who come up to me and tell me they are praying for my healing. It’s a little embarrassing, but my crooked hand does remind people to pray for me. And believe me, I have prayed for many years to be healed of this terrible disease. I believe God can heal; I read scriptures on healing; I have asked numerous people to pray for me; I am full of faith for healing……and still I have the bent hand and the pain to remind me that I am not well.
Since I have been pondering the whole hand thing, I thought I would look in the concordance for some verses on the significance of hands. The Zondervan Exhaustive Concordance gives an astounding 847 references to hands! The Bible talks about David’s right hand being exalted in Psalm 89:13. It recounts God’s power flowing through Moses’ hand stretched out over the sea to divide the water so the Israelites can pass over on dry ground (Exodus 14:16). There are many other verses that refer to our own hands. Psalm 16:8 tells us that “because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Proverbs 3:16 metaphorically describes the hand of wisdom: “Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.”
Most importantly, many references are about God’s own hands. The mighty hands which can annihilate a whole army are the same hands that can tenderly care for us. “I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10). And there’s the comforting verse found in Isaiah 51:16, “I have covered you with the shadow of my hand.” A verse that has been especially encouraging as I researched is: “I the Lord have called you in righteousness. I will take hold of your hand.” (Isaiah 42:6) God is lovingly holding my crooked hand!
My grandson skinned his knee the other day. He surveyed his wound and with the profound wisdom of a five year old said, “Some kids don’t even have legs, so I’m pretty lucky.” I am so fortunate to be walking and moving as well as I do, still, I’ll continue to pray for healing. The story of the woman who was healed when she touched Jesus’ garment is one of my favorites. Like the woman, I am constantly seeking for healing and believe God will give it to me one day. And like the story of the man with the shriveled hand (told in three out of the four gospels), I believe my hand will be straightened. I will ask the Lord to heal my hand (and body) if that miracle brings Him glory. If He doesn’t heal me in this lifetime, I will ask that He give me His sustaining power and that my crooked hand will bring Him glory. Isaiah 44:5 says, “Still another will write on his hand ‘the Lord’s’ and will take the name of Israel.”
I am literally going to write that on my crooked right hand—“The Lord’s” to remind me that I belong to You God. I gladly give all of me to You Lord, even my crooked right hand!
As I write this blog, it is painful and awkward to type because of my crooked right hand. For the past 20 years I have had an autoimmune disease called Rheumatoid Arthritis. My body thinks something is wrong and is literally attacking my joints. Right after having my third child, my feet started hurting then it spread to my hands, my hips, my shoulders, my knees—until every joint was inflamed and every part of my body felt like it had been crushed. I had been through three labors without medication and knew about pain, but this pain was drastic. I could hardly care for my three little children and my hands hurt so bad I could not even change my newborn’s diaper. Thankfully, I lived with my sister for a few months and she lovingly helped me with my children and took care of me. Every night I cried from the pain and, at age 34, I thought my life was over.
Even though typing is painful for me right now, I am amazed at the journey God has brought me (and my whole family) through and I am so grateful for the improved condition I am now in. Thanks to modern medicine and to God’s miracle working power, I can generally function like a normal person. I am so thankful that I am off disability and able to work fulltime. I am thankful that I can sleep at night; I am thankful I can play with my grandchildren; I am thankful I can be pretty active and exercise some. When I first got sick and could hardly do anything, I would see people mowing their lawns and say, “I wish I could do that.” Since my health has improved, I have successfully knitted three scarves and a hat, and shoveled a foot of snow off my driveway; and now I am able to perform the delicate job of changing my newborn grandson’s diapers! I am even thankful every time I can clean a toilet bowl!
Most people would not even notice I have an illness…………until they look at my right hand. I even forget I’m sick until I look at my right hand, bent to the right at a 45 degree angle with swollen knuckles. It’s not attractive and although I forget about it many times, I also grieve over it other times. I used to be able to type 80 words a minute and now my typing is labored. Being a “righty”, I have trouble grasping things and drop things on occasion. Last summer, I dropped a water bottle on my foot and fractured a couple of bones. And yet, praise God, yesterday I was able to help load backpacks with school supplies at World Vision with no ill effects today!
Another thing I hate about my right hand is I feel embarrassed by its ugliness. I can dye my hair and get my body in shape, but I can’t get rid of the hand. I can keep it under the table and use my left hand to hold a cup, but some people still notice.
Probably the most grievous thing to me is when I lift my hands in worship, I am lifting a crooked hand to the Lord. I don’t think God minds, in fact, He’s probably glad I am worshiping in spite of my hand. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but still, I do not like my hand. I try to think maybe people in church won’t notice, but I do have people who come up to me and tell me they are praying for my healing. It’s a little embarrassing, but my crooked hand does remind people to pray for me. And believe me, I have prayed for many years to be healed of this terrible disease. I believe God can heal; I read scriptures on healing; I have asked numerous people to pray for me; I am full of faith for healing……and still I have the bent hand and the pain to remind me that I am not well.
Since I have been pondering the whole hand thing, I thought I would look in the concordance for some verses on the significance of hands. The Zondervan Exhaustive Concordance gives an astounding 847 references to hands! The Bible talks about David’s right hand being exalted in Psalm 89:13. It recounts God’s power flowing through Moses’ hand stretched out over the sea to divide the water so the Israelites can pass over on dry ground (Exodus 14:16). There are many other verses that refer to our own hands. Psalm 16:8 tells us that “because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Proverbs 3:16 metaphorically describes the hand of wisdom: “Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.”
Most importantly, many references are about God’s own hands. The mighty hands which can annihilate a whole army are the same hands that can tenderly care for us. “I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10). And there’s the comforting verse found in Isaiah 51:16, “I have covered you with the shadow of my hand.” A verse that has been especially encouraging as I researched is: “I the Lord have called you in righteousness. I will take hold of your hand.” (Isaiah 42:6) God is lovingly holding my crooked hand!
My grandson skinned his knee the other day. He surveyed his wound and with the profound wisdom of a five year old said, “Some kids don’t even have legs, so I’m pretty lucky.” I am so fortunate to be walking and moving as well as I do, still, I’ll continue to pray for healing. The story of the woman who was healed when she touched Jesus’ garment is one of my favorites. Like the woman, I am constantly seeking for healing and believe God will give it to me one day. And like the story of the man with the shriveled hand (told in three out of the four gospels), I believe my hand will be straightened. I will ask the Lord to heal my hand (and body) if that miracle brings Him glory. If He doesn’t heal me in this lifetime, I will ask that He give me His sustaining power and that my crooked hand will bring Him glory. Isaiah 44:5 says, “Still another will write on his hand ‘the Lord’s’ and will take the name of Israel.”
I am literally going to write that on my crooked right hand—“The Lord’s” to remind me that I belong to You God. I gladly give all of me to You Lord, even my crooked right hand!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Safe or Brave?
June 24, 2010
Just 18 more hours and I will get to meet my world traveling son in the airport. I can’t wait till that moment when passengers come flooding out, the crowd parts, I see my son and we, with our arms spread wide, run to each other in slow motion and gather each other in a tight embrace. Okay, it won’t be quite that cinematic, but I will be ecstatic to see him and know he’s made it through adventures such as: walking where Jesus walked, swimming in Galilee, riding a camels with Bedouins, speaking with vendors in Turkey, climbing through ancient ruins, laboring over an eight page Bible report, and drinking probably way too much Coke. This trip with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) wasn’t quite as scary as his first trip to Togo, Africa, where he, and most of his team, got Malaria; but still, I will breathe a sigh of relief when the planes wheels squeal as they touch down on the tarmac.
I’m wondering, when did this kid get to be so brave? Josh has always been gutsy: climbed on a glass table when he was one year old, crashed down the basement stairs in a wardrobe box and got his first stitches at seven, broke his wrist when someone landed on him on the trampoline at 14. Okay maybe he is brave……or reckless. But to leave your family for five months when you are a mere 19 years old and go to remote villages in Togo where they worship idols and live in clay huts? And then to travel to locations spoken of in the Bible with a vague itinerary, a backpack and ears wide open to hear from God. Yes, my son is brave.
My daughters are brave too. Jackie married at 19 years old, just a babe, with hardly any life experiences on her own. What is the rush, I thought? Now she has grown from a teen, who didn’t really want to go to college and didn’t have a serious bone in her body, to a young wife and fulltime office manager in a memory care center. At this moment she diligently tends to her husband as he recovers from a torn Achilles tendon (ouch!) Yes, my middle daughter is brave.
My oldest daughter, Shannon, became pregnant at 19, not married, with an ex-boyfriend who didn’t want to take responsibility for the baby. Shannon bravely kept the baby and has raised a precious child who I can’t imagine life without. After four years of chiefly raising Dylan by herself (with some help from Grandma and Grandpa), she got married and instantly gained a 15 year old step-daughter. At 24 years of age she has a husband, a preschooler, a teenager, and one more on the way. Yes, my oldest daughter is brave.
For years, to help me not fear for my children, I have been starting the day off by praying for my children’s safety. But should I pray for their safety, or should I pray that they would be brave? Trials will come, bad decisions will be made, heartache will happen—there is no avoiding hardship in this life. I should pray for them to be brave. And if they chose to serve the Lord and the situation seems scary to me, I should pray for them to be brave.
In a sermon titled, “When the Will of God is Scary”, Gary Haugen (president of International Justice Mission) says: “I think Jesus is encouraging us to raise them [our children] to be brave, to raise them to be loving, and raise them to be significant. Sometimes I just want my kids to be safe, but I think they smell my fear and it builds little, tiny prisons that can last a lifetime. On the other hand, I think I can help my kids choose to be brave, to be loving and to be significant. And it’s the stuff that will actually, dangerously change the world.” This quote comes from a man whose chief mission is to rescue victims from violence, slavery, and sexual exploitation. He goes on to say that a life of significance doesn’t have to be a rescue mission but could be to care for the homeless or an elderly parent, or to volunteer overseas, or to teach Sunday school, or even to persevere in a hard relationship. He questions, “Are we raising our children to be brave or to be safe? Are we raising our children to be loving or to be smart? Raising them to be successful or significant?”
This is a profound concept—praying for our kids to be brave—but is it easy to carry out or even desire for them? We want our children to grow up, marry a wonderful spouse, get good jobs and nice homes, have 2.5 precious grandkids, and live happily and safely ever after. Or should we have a greater desire for them to be loving, fearless, Jesus followers, who are significantly impacting the world?
If we know the character of Jesus, we will know that He loves them and will help them be brave in whatever their future holds, or where ever they go in pursuit of Him. Haugen ends his sermon with a reassuring thought. “Jesus wants us to know: we are so well taken care of by him that it is actually safe to be brave. Do you remember what Lucy said in The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe when she encounters the lion Aslan for the first time and she asks, because he is a lion, ‘Is he safe?’ And the answer, of course, is, ‘No, he’s not safe, but he’s good.’ So as we follow such a lion into the world, it will not be safe. But that life will be good.”
Lord, help my children to be brave. And Lord, help me to be brave as I entrust my children to you!
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Just 18 more hours and I will get to meet my world traveling son in the airport. I can’t wait till that moment when passengers come flooding out, the crowd parts, I see my son and we, with our arms spread wide, run to each other in slow motion and gather each other in a tight embrace. Okay, it won’t be quite that cinematic, but I will be ecstatic to see him and know he’s made it through adventures such as: walking where Jesus walked, swimming in Galilee, riding a camels with Bedouins, speaking with vendors in Turkey, climbing through ancient ruins, laboring over an eight page Bible report, and drinking probably way too much Coke. This trip with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) wasn’t quite as scary as his first trip to Togo, Africa, where he, and most of his team, got Malaria; but still, I will breathe a sigh of relief when the planes wheels squeal as they touch down on the tarmac.
I’m wondering, when did this kid get to be so brave? Josh has always been gutsy: climbed on a glass table when he was one year old, crashed down the basement stairs in a wardrobe box and got his first stitches at seven, broke his wrist when someone landed on him on the trampoline at 14. Okay maybe he is brave……or reckless. But to leave your family for five months when you are a mere 19 years old and go to remote villages in Togo where they worship idols and live in clay huts? And then to travel to locations spoken of in the Bible with a vague itinerary, a backpack and ears wide open to hear from God. Yes, my son is brave.
My daughters are brave too. Jackie married at 19 years old, just a babe, with hardly any life experiences on her own. What is the rush, I thought? Now she has grown from a teen, who didn’t really want to go to college and didn’t have a serious bone in her body, to a young wife and fulltime office manager in a memory care center. At this moment she diligently tends to her husband as he recovers from a torn Achilles tendon (ouch!) Yes, my middle daughter is brave.
My oldest daughter, Shannon, became pregnant at 19, not married, with an ex-boyfriend who didn’t want to take responsibility for the baby. Shannon bravely kept the baby and has raised a precious child who I can’t imagine life without. After four years of chiefly raising Dylan by herself (with some help from Grandma and Grandpa), she got married and instantly gained a 15 year old step-daughter. At 24 years of age she has a husband, a preschooler, a teenager, and one more on the way. Yes, my oldest daughter is brave.
For years, to help me not fear for my children, I have been starting the day off by praying for my children’s safety. But should I pray for their safety, or should I pray that they would be brave? Trials will come, bad decisions will be made, heartache will happen—there is no avoiding hardship in this life. I should pray for them to be brave. And if they chose to serve the Lord and the situation seems scary to me, I should pray for them to be brave.
In a sermon titled, “When the Will of God is Scary”, Gary Haugen (president of International Justice Mission) says: “I think Jesus is encouraging us to raise them [our children] to be brave, to raise them to be loving, and raise them to be significant. Sometimes I just want my kids to be safe, but I think they smell my fear and it builds little, tiny prisons that can last a lifetime. On the other hand, I think I can help my kids choose to be brave, to be loving and to be significant. And it’s the stuff that will actually, dangerously change the world.” This quote comes from a man whose chief mission is to rescue victims from violence, slavery, and sexual exploitation. He goes on to say that a life of significance doesn’t have to be a rescue mission but could be to care for the homeless or an elderly parent, or to volunteer overseas, or to teach Sunday school, or even to persevere in a hard relationship. He questions, “Are we raising our children to be brave or to be safe? Are we raising our children to be loving or to be smart? Raising them to be successful or significant?”
This is a profound concept—praying for our kids to be brave—but is it easy to carry out or even desire for them? We want our children to grow up, marry a wonderful spouse, get good jobs and nice homes, have 2.5 precious grandkids, and live happily and safely ever after. Or should we have a greater desire for them to be loving, fearless, Jesus followers, who are significantly impacting the world?
If we know the character of Jesus, we will know that He loves them and will help them be brave in whatever their future holds, or where ever they go in pursuit of Him. Haugen ends his sermon with a reassuring thought. “Jesus wants us to know: we are so well taken care of by him that it is actually safe to be brave. Do you remember what Lucy said in The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe when she encounters the lion Aslan for the first time and she asks, because he is a lion, ‘Is he safe?’ And the answer, of course, is, ‘No, he’s not safe, but he’s good.’ So as we follow such a lion into the world, it will not be safe. But that life will be good.”
Lord, help my children to be brave. And Lord, help me to be brave as I entrust my children to you!
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Enlarge My Territory
It’s a good day for writing--rainy and gray. From the comfort of my basement apartment, I look out the window and witness a fragile, purple clematis holding on for dear life to the chain link fence. She thought it was spring and began to bloom only to be met by a frigid blast of wind. I thought I was finally coming to a spring in my life—a stable, peaceful time where I could find myself and really bloom—but was met by yet another life challenge. One of the lessons I have learned in my life is that “things are subject to change; don’t get too comfortable.”
After many years of challenges: major illness, poverty, death of loved ones, divorce, a sudden empty nest, aloneness, and……. Menopause, I finally felt like I had reached a peaceful place. (It’s interesting to note that “men” o-pause came during my divorce!) I loved my job as a middle school/high school librarian at a Christian school and felt like I had found my niche. I loved the students and staff (people who loved and cared for me). I had found a church full of Biblical strength and wonderful worship. I had awesome friends who poured into my life. My three children had left the nest—a sadness for me, but I was happy that they were thriving as they began their own life journeys. I had dealt with my aloneness and I was finally beginning to enjoy my quiet home more. I was not thriving financially, but I was paying bills on time and I had an element of security. A life with many tumultuous years had finally reached a peaceful state.
Because my life had changed so drastically over the past three years, I asked God how He could use me in this stage of my life. “I am open to anything,” I told Him. “I give myself totally to You. Use me extravagantly!” I even posted that last phrase up on my mirror so I could look at it daily, remember it, and wait expectantly for whatever great adventure God wanted to send me on. I was even willing to go to a foreign country if that was His perfect will. This was a scary thought because I didn’t really want to leave my family (even though they had their own families) but I so wanted to do whatever it was that the Lord wanted. If He wanted me to go to Tuscany, remodel a villa, and find true love…so be it. Oh, and I loved my job (think I already told you that a time or two), but I would still be willing to do whatever He designed for my path. After asking the Lord to use me extravagantly, I did an even more dangerous thing……. I prayed the prayer of Jabez.
“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.’ “ I Chronicles 4:10
This new step of faith towards a new adventure was exciting and I wondered what God had in store for my life. As many of you have learned, God sometimes calls us to do hard things or allows hard things to happen to point us in the right direction. Recently Google had a pacman game posted on its homepage in honor of its 30th anniversary. My library students were very distracted by the game and I discovered I still wasn’t very good at playing it! As many of you older friends remember, in this game the little yellow pacman goes along merrily gobbling up dots; then when he hits a wall, he is stuck till you make him go a different direction.
An associate pastor at my church, Nick Limbo, recently gave a message about how the Israelites faced the obstacle of the Red Sea. As they feared the Egyptian chariots behind them and the sea before them, Moses answered, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today…The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Pastor Nick talked about how we are so close to reaching some new destiny, but obstacles are in the way. This can change in an instant. “You will go to sleep one night,” he said, “and wake up to a new landscape….The Lord has a calendar for you—a time when a tipping point will project you forward.” This message greatly encouraged me because I was looking forward to how God would change my landscape and really use me.
Last week I was called in to the superintendent’s office and was told that student enrollment was way down for next year. The superintendent had cut the budget every where possible but still had to cut down my hours to half time (this included the elementary library too). The economic downturn had hit many parents hard and was in turn affecting school enrollment. My heart dropped and my body started shaking. She tried to console me with the fact that other schools were facing difficult decisions and assured me that it wasn’t anything I had done. “People love you” she said. Through tears, I told the superintendent that I would either need a good part time job to go with the library or I was going to have to get a full time job somewhere.
I left the office full of grief, really wishing I had a husband at home so I could rest in his arms and have him tell me “We’ll get through this.” But my Maker is my husband now (Is. 54:5) and He will get me through this. He has always proved Himself faithful and will not give me more than I can handle. Still, in the natural realm, I still thought, “Lord, what are You thinking? Don’t you want me to lead a peaceful life?” I prayed the prayer of Jabez over my daughter, Jackie, and her husband, and Tommy got a new job with way more money than I currently make. I prayed the prayer of Jabez over my daughter, Shannon and her husband, Shane, and they are now expecting a baby. I prayed the prayer over my son, Josh, and he is now on a Holy land adventure with YWAM. I pray the prayer of Jabez over me and I face a job loss? What are you doing God? I am so glad You are blessing my children, but Lord what are you doing in mine? Yes, I do love this job, but I haven’t been putting it before you. I was just enjoying this one thing You had given to me when the locusts had munched on so many other things in my life! So I succumbed into a heap and cried out to God, “Just show me You love me!”
This is certainly not the biggest challenge I have ever faced, but it does feel like the straw that could break the camel’s back. Several friends have said that God is stretching me. I feel like He has stretched me so much already that I’m like a tired old rubber band, ready to snap. After crying in my sackcloth and ashes, my first thought was to hold on to this job. Then I realized—What if God is calling me elsewhere? I still have one foot holding the door to this job open, but what if this is the time God is calling me to move out in a different direction? What if this is the time when God is going to use me extravagantly in ways I never imagined? Would I ever be willing to leave my comfortable, peaceful environment if the door hadn’t started to close? Should I take my foot out of the door?
My 19 year old son, Josh, has been trying to figure out what he is to do with his future. I have told him many times that God has a will for His life and wants to use him. God would not keep this hidden from Josh but would gradually make it obvious to him along the way if he was really seeking it. Now I have to heed that advice in my own life. God will make His will known to me if I seek hard after Him and obey Him. I’m at the beginning of this particular journey. It sounds exciting to think God could be using me in a new way; but this is only the beginning of the journey and God doesn’t generally doesn’t give us short cuts. God didn’t even give His chosen people a short cut: “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, ‘If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.’ So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.” Okay, God didn’t give them a short cut, but keep in mind, however, that He did part the Red Sea for them!
My future could be very exciting, but I have to realize that there will be some bumps and stresses along the way (the peaceful library sounds so tantalizing). I must still seek hard after God even if He doesn’t give me a short cut or hand me a ministry on a silver platter. It’s a long obedience in the right direction.
My oldest daughter, Shannon, posted on Facebook, for everyone to see, that I hadn’t written on my blog for nine months. I have been pretty busy lately and it has been hard to find time to write, but mainly, I just didn’t want to write. This is really weird for me because I usually love to write. All three of my kids have blogs and write more often than I do. Even Josh writes more and he hated writing in school. I’ve enjoyed writing since I was in the 7th grade and for the first time in my life, I haven’t wanted to write. Was it the stubbornness of my own heart, not doing what God has called me to do? Or was Satan suppressing me for some reason? Whatever the reason, I prayed to break if off today. Since I write more when I am under stress, I should be writing more now that I have more stress!
As I start this journey to find God’s will for this stage in my life, I will start writing my blog again. Don’t worry, since the blogs will be coming more often; they will be shorter than this one. I’m putting my life out there before you without even knowing how God will work or what circumstances He’ll bring into my path. I hope you will accompany me on this journey by keeping up with the developments along the way and by praying for me. Let me know what your journey is too and we can lift each other up. I know it won’t be an easy faith walk, but I am expecting to be amazed at what God will do. I hope you’re ready for a wild ride—so buckle up and hold on!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’ “ Isaiah 30:21
“See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.” Isaiah 42: 9
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” Isaiah 48:17
“But He knows the way I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this…” Psalm 37:5
“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
After many years of challenges: major illness, poverty, death of loved ones, divorce, a sudden empty nest, aloneness, and……. Menopause, I finally felt like I had reached a peaceful place. (It’s interesting to note that “men” o-pause came during my divorce!) I loved my job as a middle school/high school librarian at a Christian school and felt like I had found my niche. I loved the students and staff (people who loved and cared for me). I had found a church full of Biblical strength and wonderful worship. I had awesome friends who poured into my life. My three children had left the nest—a sadness for me, but I was happy that they were thriving as they began their own life journeys. I had dealt with my aloneness and I was finally beginning to enjoy my quiet home more. I was not thriving financially, but I was paying bills on time and I had an element of security. A life with many tumultuous years had finally reached a peaceful state.
Because my life had changed so drastically over the past three years, I asked God how He could use me in this stage of my life. “I am open to anything,” I told Him. “I give myself totally to You. Use me extravagantly!” I even posted that last phrase up on my mirror so I could look at it daily, remember it, and wait expectantly for whatever great adventure God wanted to send me on. I was even willing to go to a foreign country if that was His perfect will. This was a scary thought because I didn’t really want to leave my family (even though they had their own families) but I so wanted to do whatever it was that the Lord wanted. If He wanted me to go to Tuscany, remodel a villa, and find true love…so be it. Oh, and I loved my job (think I already told you that a time or two), but I would still be willing to do whatever He designed for my path. After asking the Lord to use me extravagantly, I did an even more dangerous thing……. I prayed the prayer of Jabez.
“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.’ “ I Chronicles 4:10
This new step of faith towards a new adventure was exciting and I wondered what God had in store for my life. As many of you have learned, God sometimes calls us to do hard things or allows hard things to happen to point us in the right direction. Recently Google had a pacman game posted on its homepage in honor of its 30th anniversary. My library students were very distracted by the game and I discovered I still wasn’t very good at playing it! As many of you older friends remember, in this game the little yellow pacman goes along merrily gobbling up dots; then when he hits a wall, he is stuck till you make him go a different direction.
An associate pastor at my church, Nick Limbo, recently gave a message about how the Israelites faced the obstacle of the Red Sea. As they feared the Egyptian chariots behind them and the sea before them, Moses answered, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today…The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Pastor Nick talked about how we are so close to reaching some new destiny, but obstacles are in the way. This can change in an instant. “You will go to sleep one night,” he said, “and wake up to a new landscape….The Lord has a calendar for you—a time when a tipping point will project you forward.” This message greatly encouraged me because I was looking forward to how God would change my landscape and really use me.
Last week I was called in to the superintendent’s office and was told that student enrollment was way down for next year. The superintendent had cut the budget every where possible but still had to cut down my hours to half time (this included the elementary library too). The economic downturn had hit many parents hard and was in turn affecting school enrollment. My heart dropped and my body started shaking. She tried to console me with the fact that other schools were facing difficult decisions and assured me that it wasn’t anything I had done. “People love you” she said. Through tears, I told the superintendent that I would either need a good part time job to go with the library or I was going to have to get a full time job somewhere.
I left the office full of grief, really wishing I had a husband at home so I could rest in his arms and have him tell me “We’ll get through this.” But my Maker is my husband now (Is. 54:5) and He will get me through this. He has always proved Himself faithful and will not give me more than I can handle. Still, in the natural realm, I still thought, “Lord, what are You thinking? Don’t you want me to lead a peaceful life?” I prayed the prayer of Jabez over my daughter, Jackie, and her husband, and Tommy got a new job with way more money than I currently make. I prayed the prayer of Jabez over my daughter, Shannon and her husband, Shane, and they are now expecting a baby. I prayed the prayer over my son, Josh, and he is now on a Holy land adventure with YWAM. I pray the prayer of Jabez over me and I face a job loss? What are you doing God? I am so glad You are blessing my children, but Lord what are you doing in mine? Yes, I do love this job, but I haven’t been putting it before you. I was just enjoying this one thing You had given to me when the locusts had munched on so many other things in my life! So I succumbed into a heap and cried out to God, “Just show me You love me!”
This is certainly not the biggest challenge I have ever faced, but it does feel like the straw that could break the camel’s back. Several friends have said that God is stretching me. I feel like He has stretched me so much already that I’m like a tired old rubber band, ready to snap. After crying in my sackcloth and ashes, my first thought was to hold on to this job. Then I realized—What if God is calling me elsewhere? I still have one foot holding the door to this job open, but what if this is the time God is calling me to move out in a different direction? What if this is the time when God is going to use me extravagantly in ways I never imagined? Would I ever be willing to leave my comfortable, peaceful environment if the door hadn’t started to close? Should I take my foot out of the door?
My 19 year old son, Josh, has been trying to figure out what he is to do with his future. I have told him many times that God has a will for His life and wants to use him. God would not keep this hidden from Josh but would gradually make it obvious to him along the way if he was really seeking it. Now I have to heed that advice in my own life. God will make His will known to me if I seek hard after Him and obey Him. I’m at the beginning of this particular journey. It sounds exciting to think God could be using me in a new way; but this is only the beginning of the journey and God doesn’t generally doesn’t give us short cuts. God didn’t even give His chosen people a short cut: “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, ‘If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.’ So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.” Okay, God didn’t give them a short cut, but keep in mind, however, that He did part the Red Sea for them!
My future could be very exciting, but I have to realize that there will be some bumps and stresses along the way (the peaceful library sounds so tantalizing). I must still seek hard after God even if He doesn’t give me a short cut or hand me a ministry on a silver platter. It’s a long obedience in the right direction.
My oldest daughter, Shannon, posted on Facebook, for everyone to see, that I hadn’t written on my blog for nine months. I have been pretty busy lately and it has been hard to find time to write, but mainly, I just didn’t want to write. This is really weird for me because I usually love to write. All three of my kids have blogs and write more often than I do. Even Josh writes more and he hated writing in school. I’ve enjoyed writing since I was in the 7th grade and for the first time in my life, I haven’t wanted to write. Was it the stubbornness of my own heart, not doing what God has called me to do? Or was Satan suppressing me for some reason? Whatever the reason, I prayed to break if off today. Since I write more when I am under stress, I should be writing more now that I have more stress!
As I start this journey to find God’s will for this stage in my life, I will start writing my blog again. Don’t worry, since the blogs will be coming more often; they will be shorter than this one. I’m putting my life out there before you without even knowing how God will work or what circumstances He’ll bring into my path. I hope you will accompany me on this journey by keeping up with the developments along the way and by praying for me. Let me know what your journey is too and we can lift each other up. I know it won’t be an easy faith walk, but I am expecting to be amazed at what God will do. I hope you’re ready for a wild ride—so buckle up and hold on!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’ “ Isaiah 30:21
“See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.” Isaiah 42: 9
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” Isaiah 48:17
“But He knows the way I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this…” Psalm 37:5
“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
Saturday, August 8, 2009
I Love Choo
Blog #4
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Several years ago when I found myself newly separated from my husband and wondering what God would now do with my life, I moved into a tiny 3rd floor apartment with my 19 year old daughter and 16 year old son. Besides missing my spacious house with its backyard and view, I hated cramming into the small apartment, losing my vertical space, smelling the cigarette smoke from the apartment below, and smelling the acrid odor wafting over from a massive hill of beauty bark at a nearby nursery. But the inconvenience that affected me the most was the horn blasts coming from trains that passed nearby. In my previous home, I was a few miles away from the tracks and always thought the faint sound of the train’s horn was comforting. Now that I lived closer to the tracks, the blasts were irritatingly loud, not just a soothing “choo, choo”.
Often times at night, I would just be dropping off to sleep when the blast of a horn would jolt me awake. At all hours of the night, the train would sound its horn to announce it was passing through the intersection. The honking even seemed louder after midnight, as if the conductor was doing it on purpose. I wanted to yell, “For Pete’s sake!! Quit honking your horn! We’re all in bed.” Friends said I would get used to the train, but it was taking a while and I kept waking up in the middle of the night.
“Lord, why is this happening?” I questioned God. “This was the apartment you led us to and worked out for us. Why are so many things going wrong?” Satan seemed to want to get the best of me and my children (I’ll get to the apartment fire and the car breaking down later.) Once again, I was like the Israelites who still doubted God’s provision even though he had brought them miraculously out of Egypt.
I knew I needed to change my poor attitude, but how? I needed to find a way to see that what Satan meant for evil could be something good, something joyful. At that point, I made a conscious decision to let God talk to me every time I experienced these irritations. Every time I smelled the neighbor’s cigarette smoke, I would say, “God is my healer.” Every time I got a whiff of the dirty diaper smell of the beauty bark I would say, “I am a fragrance of Christ.” And every time I heard the blasts of the train’s horn, I would say what God had been telling me all along, “I love you and have a plan for your life.”
One evening, shortly after I developed this positive perspective on the apartment’s disadvantages, my grandson and I took a walk to the apartment’s duck pond. Every time the train blew its whistle, Dylan would stop and say, “choo choo train!” and then excitedly look around for the train. The wailing of the whistle brought him great joy. I told him it was God saying, “Choo, choo, I love you.” Every time the whistle blew, we would giggle and say, “I love choo!” I grew to love the sound of the train whistle too and knew it was God’s way of getting my attention in that difficult season. He was reminding me, “I love you and have a wonderful plan for your life.”
Lord, help me to not stress over negative circumstances, but to see your presence and love through them.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Several years ago when I found myself newly separated from my husband and wondering what God would now do with my life, I moved into a tiny 3rd floor apartment with my 19 year old daughter and 16 year old son. Besides missing my spacious house with its backyard and view, I hated cramming into the small apartment, losing my vertical space, smelling the cigarette smoke from the apartment below, and smelling the acrid odor wafting over from a massive hill of beauty bark at a nearby nursery. But the inconvenience that affected me the most was the horn blasts coming from trains that passed nearby. In my previous home, I was a few miles away from the tracks and always thought the faint sound of the train’s horn was comforting. Now that I lived closer to the tracks, the blasts were irritatingly loud, not just a soothing “choo, choo”.
Often times at night, I would just be dropping off to sleep when the blast of a horn would jolt me awake. At all hours of the night, the train would sound its horn to announce it was passing through the intersection. The honking even seemed louder after midnight, as if the conductor was doing it on purpose. I wanted to yell, “For Pete’s sake!! Quit honking your horn! We’re all in bed.” Friends said I would get used to the train, but it was taking a while and I kept waking up in the middle of the night.
“Lord, why is this happening?” I questioned God. “This was the apartment you led us to and worked out for us. Why are so many things going wrong?” Satan seemed to want to get the best of me and my children (I’ll get to the apartment fire and the car breaking down later.) Once again, I was like the Israelites who still doubted God’s provision even though he had brought them miraculously out of Egypt.
I knew I needed to change my poor attitude, but how? I needed to find a way to see that what Satan meant for evil could be something good, something joyful. At that point, I made a conscious decision to let God talk to me every time I experienced these irritations. Every time I smelled the neighbor’s cigarette smoke, I would say, “God is my healer.” Every time I got a whiff of the dirty diaper smell of the beauty bark I would say, “I am a fragrance of Christ.” And every time I heard the blasts of the train’s horn, I would say what God had been telling me all along, “I love you and have a plan for your life.”
One evening, shortly after I developed this positive perspective on the apartment’s disadvantages, my grandson and I took a walk to the apartment’s duck pond. Every time the train blew its whistle, Dylan would stop and say, “choo choo train!” and then excitedly look around for the train. The wailing of the whistle brought him great joy. I told him it was God saying, “Choo, choo, I love you.” Every time the whistle blew, we would giggle and say, “I love choo!” I grew to love the sound of the train whistle too and knew it was God’s way of getting my attention in that difficult season. He was reminding me, “I love you and have a wonderful plan for your life.”
Lord, help me to not stress over negative circumstances, but to see your presence and love through them.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Happy Birthday Shannon
I just can't let this day go by without wishing my darling eldest daughter a Happy Birthday! You are camping with your family so I can't even give you a motherly call to remind you of the pain I endured 24 years ago (without pain killer I might add) to help you enter this world. That pain was well worth it because I have loved growing up with you through diapers, thumb sucking, salt relief maps, talent shows, drivers ed, homecoming, flooded first apartment, and first grandchild. I am so proud of the wife and mother, and the woman of God you have become. You are a gift from God--I pray I have been a good steward of this gift and that you will be a good steward of your children. You are a blessing Shannon!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
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