Safe or Brave?

June 24, 2010
Just 18 more hours and I will get to meet my world traveling son in the airport. I can’t wait till that moment when passengers come flooding out, the crowd parts, I see my son and we, with our arms spread wide, run to each other in slow motion and gather each other in a tight embrace. Okay, it won’t be quite that cinematic, but I will be ecstatic to see him and know he’s made it through adventures such as: walking where Jesus walked, swimming in Galilee, riding a camels with Bedouins, speaking with vendors in Turkey, climbing through ancient ruins, laboring over an eight page Bible report, and drinking probably way too much Coke. This trip with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) wasn’t quite as scary as his first trip to Togo, Africa, where he, and most of his team, got Malaria; but still, I will breathe a sigh of relief when the planes wheels squeal as they touch down on the tarmac.

I’m wondering, when did this kid get to be so brave? Josh has always been gutsy: climbed on a glass table when he was one year old, crashed down the basement stairs in a wardrobe box and got his first stitches at seven, broke his wrist when someone landed on him on the trampoline at 14. Okay maybe he is brave……or reckless. But to leave your family for five months when you are a mere 19 years old and go to remote villages in Togo where they worship idols and live in clay huts? And then to travel to locations spoken of in the Bible with a vague itinerary, a backpack and ears wide open to hear from God. Yes, my son is brave.

My daughters are brave too. Jackie married at 19 years old, just a babe, with hardly any life experiences on her own. What is the rush, I thought? Now she has grown from a teen, who didn’t really want to go to college and didn’t have a serious bone in her body, to a young wife and fulltime office manager in a memory care center. At this moment she diligently tends to her husband as he recovers from a torn Achilles tendon (ouch!) Yes, my middle daughter is brave.
My oldest daughter, Shannon, became pregnant at 19, not married, with an ex-boyfriend who didn’t want to take responsibility for the baby. Shannon bravely kept the baby and has raised a precious child who I can’t imagine life without. After four years of chiefly raising Dylan by herself (with some help from Grandma and Grandpa), she got married and instantly gained a 15 year old step-daughter. At 24 years of age she has a husband, a preschooler, a teenager, and one more on the way. Yes, my oldest daughter is brave.

For years, to help me not fear for my children, I have been starting the day off by praying for my children’s safety. But should I pray for their safety, or should I pray that they would be brave? Trials will come, bad decisions will be made, heartache will happen—there is no avoiding hardship in this life. I should pray for them to be brave. And if they chose to serve the Lord and the situation seems scary to me, I should pray for them to be brave.

In a sermon titled, “When the Will of God is Scary”, Gary Haugen (president of International Justice Mission) says: “I think Jesus is encouraging us to raise them [our children] to be brave, to raise them to be loving, and raise them to be significant. Sometimes I just want my kids to be safe, but I think they smell my fear and it builds little, tiny prisons that can last a lifetime. On the other hand, I think I can help my kids choose to be brave, to be loving and to be significant. And it’s the stuff that will actually, dangerously change the world.” This quote comes from a man whose chief mission is to rescue victims from violence, slavery, and sexual exploitation. He goes on to say that a life of significance doesn’t have to be a rescue mission but could be to care for the homeless or an elderly parent, or to volunteer overseas, or to teach Sunday school, or even to persevere in a hard relationship. He questions, “Are we raising our children to be brave or to be safe? Are we raising our children to be loving or to be smart? Raising them to be successful or significant?”

This is a profound concept—praying for our kids to be brave—but is it easy to carry out or even desire for them? We want our children to grow up, marry a wonderful spouse, get good jobs and nice homes, have 2.5 precious grandkids, and live happily and safely ever after. Or should we have a greater desire for them to be loving, fearless, Jesus followers, who are significantly impacting the world?

If we know the character of Jesus, we will know that He loves them and will help them be brave in whatever their future holds, or where ever they go in pursuit of Him. Haugen ends his sermon with a reassuring thought. “Jesus wants us to know: we are so well taken care of by him that it is actually safe to be brave. Do you remember what Lucy said in The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe when she encounters the lion Aslan for the first time and she asks, because he is a lion, ‘Is he safe?’ And the answer, of course, is, ‘No, he’s not safe, but he’s good.’ So as we follow such a lion into the world, it will not be safe. But that life will be good.”

Lord, help my children to be brave. And Lord, help me to be brave as I entrust my children to you!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9